Nothing is ever that bad

So it may seem as though there is so many things that need to be done right after the initial shock has worn off that you will soon be a parent.  And there is a lot to do so don't get me wrong!  you do have time to stop and think about everything you want to do.  The first thing that probably has already popped in your head is oh my god is it a boy or a girl?  What should I name the baby?  Who will the baby look like?  Don't worry though you have 10 months to figure it out. 

Hopefully with in the first trimester you have not gotten that awful bug they like to call morning sickness (but has a tendencey to last all day), and if you did may god bless you and allow you to not have it the entire 10 months like I did the first time.  Getting out of bed first thing in the morning was like asking a kid to get out of the toy store, it was almost not going to happen.  I love how the doc's tell you to keep some crackers and water next to your bed.  I suppose in a way it was a good thing since that was what usually got me out of bed, to run to the bathroom puking.  There is nothing worse in the world than wanting, craving, longing, for a certain type/kind of food, then eating it and ralphing it right back up.  No food is ever as good coming up as it is going down.  Now men here is your real parent moment: if the mother of your unborn child asks for something no matter what it is, just do the right thing and get it for her.  Keep in mind she is growing a child, an unborn baby that just may look like you, and be named after you.  Or it could be a girl not look anything like you and not named after your grandmother you love so much that always has your favorite ice cream when you see her.  Either way it is a lot of work and a little tiring to grow something inside of you, and that's the reason Women do it and not men.


Ok so know that you have realized you have a sick obsession with food, and there is nothing else you can think of, like what you will be eating for lunch the night before, eating lunch and wondering what is for dinner, it's ok anyone that has been pregnant has been threw it.  The thing not to do is to decide that being pregnant means you can eat what ever when ever and as much as you want.  Just keep in mind however much you eat now is what you will be trying to get off after.  You can eat what you want also keep in mind there is no way the baby wanted the entire bag of oreo's, maybe the pint of ice cream, but not after you ate the entire cake. 


 The thing I loved about being pregnant is all the shopping i got to do.  Clothes, baby blankets, bottles and much more.  There was one thing I hated shopping for was big maternity clothes.  I have come to the conclusion that the person who develops maternity clothes must be men, they are looking at some way of making a joke at how women shop to much for jeans and want them to look like a macy's thanksgiving day float, so maybe they won't buy anything else.  Well men think again there is nothing you throw at us that can stop us from shopping everywhere until that perfect pair of jeans emerges from all the other crap they call clothing.  Just remember just because your pregnant doesn't mean your dead and can't dress like the fab person you are.
 

something the books forgot to tell you

So a lot of the books like to tell you to have a birthing plan right?  well in theory again they are right.  but one thing they forgot to tell you is what if something comes up and your baby has decided they want to hang out in side that nice little diner resort you've created, and you have to have a c-section... in my case that's exactly what happened.  I was in the hospital for 3 days.  Thank god being a girl and over pack even to go to the hospital.

The other thing is also if you have chosen to breast feed they definitely didn't tell you had bad it was gonna be at first.  Imagine taking sand paper rubbing it all over your boobs until they bleed, that's what it feels like.  And the nurses in the hospital and your mom and possibly mother in law they all forgot to mention this.  Thanks for nothing!  there are a few things you can pack to make this a little easier, there are so many companies now that make these really awesome gel boob pads that help with the pain and a lot of the tube sav stuff works well to.  Now here is a real parent moment:  if you think this stuff will heart the baby or their stomach stop right now and think to your self " would they really make something for breastfeeding mothers to go on their boobs that would be Bad?" 

Also something the books forgot was, sleep.  if you think for one minute you will get any sleep while your in the hospital, think again.  The nurses will be in every 2 hours checking on the baby, bringing them to the nursery to get checked out by the pediatrician, and also checking on the status of any pee or poop the baby has produced for you... And god for bid the baby hasn't eaten in 2-3 hours.  Trust me when i saw they will make you get up wake the baby up that just feel asleep to feed them.  Ok another real parent moment, didn't the books and your dr all say sleep when the baby sleeps?  how in the hell are you gonna sleep when every time you turn around you have a new visitor who dying to see the new bundle of joy you have just birthed out, and want to talk to you about how your delivery went and tell you how theirs went. Guess what I don't care didn't ask thanks but please leave me alone, the baby doesn't want you all in their face their a little tramatized as well.  my suggestion is don't tell anyone you are going to the hospital wait a week then tell them.  The moment people know the baby is hear you have just lost everything.  Your opinion is out the window you have just become incompatent of how to do anything, and all people will say to you is.  I'll watch the Baby so you can get some stuff done. 

My question is like what?  do the dishes make food, how about you do that and i will watch my own baby, if i spent 40 weeks (ten months, something else that needs to be rewritten not 9 months) carrying this little poop machine and going through however many hours of labor, I deserve to spend time on the couch holding my baby.  thanks again but no thanks!

a little more about me

I wanted to start by saying Hi I am a mom of 3 kids under the age of 5, and I have found there are so many people who are parents or becoming parents that do not seem to be in touch with reality... so That is the reason I have started this blog. I find my self constantly surrounded by people who think the answer is in the book.  I'm sure at least one of your parents told you at some point in your life "when you were born there was not an instruction manual", wow I always hate to think i'm turning into my parents especially my dad, but were they right. 

I think it is so funny that as soon as people, mainly couples, find out their pregnant (of course dad wants to think he is going through the same thing as we women are) they run out and get the book all of you are thinking of "what to expect when your expecting"  It's all crap or at least most of it is...  If you have more then one child you have already learned there is no 2 the same.  everyone is different.  I think my sister-in-law said it best, "when we got home with (their son) i couldn't believe they let us leave the hospital with a baby!"  My Brother was the one who went and decided he needed to read the books on everything, i was on my 3rd kid and was basically telling me i was wrong about everything I ate drank and did. Ps they are all fine, way above the average for height and weight, developing fine.  Guess what Men if you are not growing the life inside of you, having something kicking you in your bladder, making you eat way more than the guys at coney island eating hot dogs, watching your Boobs and stomach turning into the good year blimp, wondering if you will ever see your girl parts, and you know the girl parts: the ones your even lucky to see anymore, then stay out of it.  The one thing I love about people that don't have kids is they are always the first ones to tell you what to do with your kids!

So as this is my first post I wanted to let you know in no way am I an expert on anything.  I just know there is a better way of doing things then what I am told from a book!