After your baby has come to meet you in the world, you feel as though you are on cloud 9, (most likely it may be the drugs), The first maybe week being sleeped deprived feels like nothing. You almost start to think " wow who knew I could be up every 2 hours and still feel so rested?"
Don't worry though by the time week 3 hits and you have started to see how a shower is a luxury and brushing your teeth is something you may get around between running to the bathroom. And the bathroom break may be something done with company (the baby) . A hot meal is something you dream about. Clothes that don't have pee, shit, or puck on them is couture. That's when you start to realize you need your sleep! This is a real parent moment, it's is 100% ok to let someone help you. It's ok to let that wonderful addition to your family whipper a little and make that pot of coffee. The best thing about being home all day with that wonderful baby blob is they don;t care if you haven't brushed your teeth and you think fur is starting to grow on them. And that baby certainly doesn't care if you smell, most likely what ever you smell like was probably projected from them any way!
I know with all three of my kids I still found it hard to balance the pain of knowing if I didn't go to the bathroom soon I was going to pee in my pants, and then I mind as will put a diaper on myself. or should I change the diaper that is so full of poop it may not be papering my baby any more. Don't feel bad if you decide to pee first, it doesn't make you a bad parent it just makes you a real one!
Ok i know ever one has seen and secretly judge the parents that are all decked out to the nines to go to the grocery store with their hair done heels on makeup on, Just to let you know that's not a real person that is a stepford wife, and there is no way in heel that is the average person. Don't get me wrong I do like looking nice and getting up early and making sure my hair looks nice and putting on makeup and making sure my kids look as sweet as a picture. But I also realize the world will not fall apart if my hair is a little sub-par, that's what they make head bands and hats for. And if make up isn't on who cares I won't be stoned in public. And if my kids have stain on their shirt, what ever they did it and I'm sure they would have done the same thing to a shirt that didn't have a stain on it!
of course there's the other kind of parent who has decided they will just go ahead and give up on the world, the mom that has decided track suits are the new best thing, or their jeans now need to be just under their teeth, since they haven't lost the additional baby weight they have put on. I think the last one is my favorite. I happen to work in retail and in no way think that by having children I need to look like some hot mess that has just crawled out of Michael Jackson's thriller video! And ever time I have some one look at me and tell me they need a pair of jeans to come up higher so their muffin top doesn't show, all I can think of is the old mom jeans, the pair that are smaller in the waist and are so big in the hips and ass it looks like the Ringling brothers have come to town, the pair that are a little to short and look like a flood may start, at any moment. Come on women there is no reason in hell to let your self completely loose a sense of some kind of style because you had kids. I always say " just because I have kids it doesn't mean I'm dead". And don't worry women there are the dads out there that do the same thing! The dad that has decided to start wearing a fanny pack, what the hell, leave that ugly thing where it belongs, in the 80's. And knee high socks the sandals. I still have not figured out who first did that and thought it looked ok! I suppose it must have either a blind man or someone who has never seen a mirror. And the best thing is there are men out there that do both ( my best friends dad).
Unfortunately their is nothing out there that will stop you from going a little crazy and loosing your mind, but don't worry little by little it will come back and then the terrible 2's start...
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
The boob or the bottle thats the real question
So many women out there over the years have contimplated the question of the boob or the bottle? A lot of women seem to think I will be the best mom ever if i breast feed no bottles or formula for me! I found my self thinking the same thing when I was pregnant with my first child, and even read articles in Baby talk, about breastfeeding. There was an article in their I read that was a spoof about breastfeeding, the things people really never told you. And don't worry I will let you know right now breastfeeding is no walk in the park.
The first thing is Breastfeeding is like feeding a hungry wolf, They will be chaped, cracked, sore and may even start bleeding. If you really want to know what it is like take a piece of sandpaper rub it real hard on your nibbles, and see what happens! Men it's ok you can try it as well, go ahead and see what it's like, you can share in this moment. So after you find out how much it hurts, imagine doing this every 2-3 hours. And usually it is hard until 4-6 weeks, then if your Baby goes thru a growth spurt and want more, what do you do. Pumping is great then you can take a nap and let someone else help you or even take a shower. The only thing about pumping is it will completly fuck with your head. You will see maybe 2 oz you pumped and it took 15 min. But its ok, sometimes that all baby needs. I have read other online tools out there that offer herbal remedies and tell you to drink morer fluids and watch what you eat. I still do not think any of it really helps and I know I felt like I was doing something wrong, and I was a bad mom. Now you may almost dread the fact of trying it, I saw if you want to go for it. You have been warned and you may be fine. But if you find your self crying and think there is no way I can do it. Thats cool, thats why there are companies out there that make formula.
If your a first time mom this can be really tramatizing if no one has ever told you. Women what is wrong with us, why have we not talked about this with each other. Think of it this way if you knew someone was going to get mauled by a bear you would stop them and say hey make sure you bring a gun with you there's a Bear up ahead. But no instead, we would rather let people think it is the best thing and only super mom's can pull it off. Wrong. There is no such thing as a super mom, we all work just as hard and smart women go ahead and look at the pro's and con's... More to come Later
The first thing is Breastfeeding is like feeding a hungry wolf, They will be chaped, cracked, sore and may even start bleeding. If you really want to know what it is like take a piece of sandpaper rub it real hard on your nibbles, and see what happens! Men it's ok you can try it as well, go ahead and see what it's like, you can share in this moment. So after you find out how much it hurts, imagine doing this every 2-3 hours. And usually it is hard until 4-6 weeks, then if your Baby goes thru a growth spurt and want more, what do you do. Pumping is great then you can take a nap and let someone else help you or even take a shower. The only thing about pumping is it will completly fuck with your head. You will see maybe 2 oz you pumped and it took 15 min. But its ok, sometimes that all baby needs. I have read other online tools out there that offer herbal remedies and tell you to drink morer fluids and watch what you eat. I still do not think any of it really helps and I know I felt like I was doing something wrong, and I was a bad mom. Now you may almost dread the fact of trying it, I saw if you want to go for it. You have been warned and you may be fine. But if you find your self crying and think there is no way I can do it. Thats cool, thats why there are companies out there that make formula.
If your a first time mom this can be really tramatizing if no one has ever told you. Women what is wrong with us, why have we not talked about this with each other. Think of it this way if you knew someone was going to get mauled by a bear you would stop them and say hey make sure you bring a gun with you there's a Bear up ahead. But no instead, we would rather let people think it is the best thing and only super mom's can pull it off. Wrong. There is no such thing as a super mom, we all work just as hard and smart women go ahead and look at the pro's and con's... More to come Later
Friday, April 1, 2011
Get ready shit happens
The first time you see that little diaper they have for you to put on the Baby for the first time, all i could think, " how tiny". Well of course they are at first but just wait for it. The first time that precious little pink baby burrito decides to take that first little dump, its the color of Tar and thick! the wipes, or paper towels you have to get wet first, are no match for what that baby can put out. Who would have thought something so small that was being fed through a cord could produce something that nasty.
I would love to tell you it gets better, but I would be lying. For those of us who have kids and what many people who are about to have kids or want kids will soon find out is there is soemthing even worse ready to come...
All three of my kids have done it, had one of those absolute blow outs... the kind that has not just gone through the diaper and a little on the jammies, oh no that would be a level one on the three level's of morning poo's. Then there is one that when you pick that smiling little face out of their cribs in the morning looking at you ready to start the day and happy to see you. Then there is the level three, this one is the worst and wow get ready for it... This is the one that as you start to get to he door you already are wondering if the dog is behind you farting, the one that you almost wonder if the diaper genie is over flowing and you have been to sleep deprived to realize just how bad it is, the one that as you open the door you are already thinking what is going on... Then you open the door and the smell has hit you slapped you right in the face, bit your ear off and spit it out, punched you in the stomach and keeps jumping on your face. You look in the crib and all you see is SHIT. It is all over your baby, all over that great bedding you just had to have, all over the impossible to put on bumper, oh yeah and your perfect little precious angel is now cover in poo!
Don't worry if you find your self in this situation all kids have been in it and this will not be the last incidence you will have with poo by the way. This is the moment in your parenting mind you have to ask your self, " am I a real Parent", The best and easiest thing to do is start the bath bring them right in there and take there clothes off in there. There is no sense in trying to wipe them off with a baby wipe, you would go through an entire pack of them, in 2 minutes. Also who wants all that crap getting all over the rest of the clothes that are dirty but not covered in dodo. After that your baby gets out of the bath and is nice and clean and happy (because most likely they have no idea why you would be upset about this) Then it's ok to cry a little or want to throw up , if you already haven't, And get to do the Laundry, Just keep in mind you can always throw away the nasty shit covered clothes, blankets sheets, and bumpers, and buy new ones.
The best thing I have discovered is the toddler bed in a bag. It comes with 2 sheets, a pillow case, a nice blanket and all fits on that wonderful crib mattress and isn't outrageously priced. It's about $40, depending on what design you have chosen, I personally like disney and we have gone threw "The cars", and Tinker Bell. Thanks Disney for getting me threw some shitty Days
I would love to tell you it gets better, but I would be lying. For those of us who have kids and what many people who are about to have kids or want kids will soon find out is there is soemthing even worse ready to come...
All three of my kids have done it, had one of those absolute blow outs... the kind that has not just gone through the diaper and a little on the jammies, oh no that would be a level one on the three level's of morning poo's. Then there is one that when you pick that smiling little face out of their cribs in the morning looking at you ready to start the day and happy to see you. Then there is the level three, this one is the worst and wow get ready for it... This is the one that as you start to get to he door you already are wondering if the dog is behind you farting, the one that you almost wonder if the diaper genie is over flowing and you have been to sleep deprived to realize just how bad it is, the one that as you open the door you are already thinking what is going on... Then you open the door and the smell has hit you slapped you right in the face, bit your ear off and spit it out, punched you in the stomach and keeps jumping on your face. You look in the crib and all you see is SHIT. It is all over your baby, all over that great bedding you just had to have, all over the impossible to put on bumper, oh yeah and your perfect little precious angel is now cover in poo!
Don't worry if you find your self in this situation all kids have been in it and this will not be the last incidence you will have with poo by the way. This is the moment in your parenting mind you have to ask your self, " am I a real Parent", The best and easiest thing to do is start the bath bring them right in there and take there clothes off in there. There is no sense in trying to wipe them off with a baby wipe, you would go through an entire pack of them, in 2 minutes. Also who wants all that crap getting all over the rest of the clothes that are dirty but not covered in dodo. After that your baby gets out of the bath and is nice and clean and happy (because most likely they have no idea why you would be upset about this) Then it's ok to cry a little or want to throw up , if you already haven't, And get to do the Laundry, Just keep in mind you can always throw away the nasty shit covered clothes, blankets sheets, and bumpers, and buy new ones.
The best thing I have discovered is the toddler bed in a bag. It comes with 2 sheets, a pillow case, a nice blanket and all fits on that wonderful crib mattress and isn't outrageously priced. It's about $40, depending on what design you have chosen, I personally like disney and we have gone threw "The cars", and Tinker Bell. Thanks Disney for getting me threw some shitty Days
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