The first time you see that little diaper they have for you to put on the Baby for the first time, all i could think, " how tiny". Well of course they are at first but just wait for it. The first time that precious little pink baby burrito decides to take that first little dump, its the color of Tar and thick! the wipes, or paper towels you have to get wet first, are no match for what that baby can put out. Who would have thought something so small that was being fed through a cord could produce something that nasty.
I would love to tell you it gets better, but I would be lying. For those of us who have kids and what many people who are about to have kids or want kids will soon find out is there is soemthing even worse ready to come...
All three of my kids have done it, had one of those absolute blow outs... the kind that has not just gone through the diaper and a little on the jammies, oh no that would be a level one on the three level's of morning poo's. Then there is one that when you pick that smiling little face out of their cribs in the morning looking at you ready to start the day and happy to see you. Then there is the level three, this one is the worst and wow get ready for it... This is the one that as you start to get to he door you already are wondering if the dog is behind you farting, the one that you almost wonder if the diaper genie is over flowing and you have been to sleep deprived to realize just how bad it is, the one that as you open the door you are already thinking what is going on... Then you open the door and the smell has hit you slapped you right in the face, bit your ear off and spit it out, punched you in the stomach and keeps jumping on your face. You look in the crib and all you see is SHIT. It is all over your baby, all over that great bedding you just had to have, all over the impossible to put on bumper, oh yeah and your perfect little precious angel is now cover in poo!
Don't worry if you find your self in this situation all kids have been in it and this will not be the last incidence you will have with poo by the way. This is the moment in your parenting mind you have to ask your self, " am I a real Parent", The best and easiest thing to do is start the bath bring them right in there and take there clothes off in there. There is no sense in trying to wipe them off with a baby wipe, you would go through an entire pack of them, in 2 minutes. Also who wants all that crap getting all over the rest of the clothes that are dirty but not covered in dodo. After that your baby gets out of the bath and is nice and clean and happy (because most likely they have no idea why you would be upset about this) Then it's ok to cry a little or want to throw up , if you already haven't, And get to do the Laundry, Just keep in mind you can always throw away the nasty shit covered clothes, blankets sheets, and bumpers, and buy new ones.
The best thing I have discovered is the toddler bed in a bag. It comes with 2 sheets, a pillow case, a nice blanket and all fits on that wonderful crib mattress and isn't outrageously priced. It's about $40, depending on what design you have chosen, I personally like disney and we have gone threw "The cars", and Tinker Bell. Thanks Disney for getting me threw some shitty Days
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